Oh Shut Up Already!

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone but found it impossible because they just wouldn’t listen? Every time you opened your mouth to say something, they just had to interrupt. It’s impossible to talk and listen at the same time.

You may have noticed that this blog has been conspicuously silent lately. That’s because I am listening. I believe in the vastness of universal potential and the depth of life’s lessons and sometimes you just need to shut up to hear them.

I am adding links to three programs I am currently participating in—all courtesy of Oprah.com. I will refrain from commenting on them for now because I feel as though I would be interrupting the lesson I need to learn. I simply want to share the blessing of inspiration and fellowship they have provided.

A New Earth Oprah’s current Book Club selection addresses humanity’s ego-based thinking. Oprah and author Eckhart Tolle are committed to discussing the book chapter by chapter in a 90 minute live web event every Monday night starting March 3rd. (Discussions archived)

A Course in Miracles Marianne Williamson takes you through the complete Course in Miracles. Everyday in 2008, Williamson covers one of the 365 lessons. Although this program began in January, the complete program is archived and you can go at your own pace.

Oprah and Bob’s Million Viewer Challenge The body is the temple of the spirit. Learn how to make better health and fitness choices, because you deserve to live your best life.

From ‘Sex in the City’ to ‘Cashmere Mafia’: The Chic Shift to Mommy Lit

Don’t worry folks, this is not another review of ABC’s latest premier. I think the traditional media already has that covered with reviews ranging from Ooo-la-la to ho-hum to eee-gads. (See reviews by Tom Jicha in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Robert Bianco in USA Today, and Brian Lowry in Variety.) No, Cashmere Mafia isn’t really winning any critical acclaim. Like the upcoming Lipstick Jungle, this one hour dramedy seeks to fill the viewer void created by the wrap up of Sex and the City. But while most of the critics are busy analyzing the what, I can’t help but consider the why. Why would ABC invest in a SATC knock off and why are some women eager to defend it?

In September, ABC premiered the new series Big Shots, a dramedy following the friendship of four high power men and their woes with women. Labeling it the boys club revamp of Desperate Housewives, TV Critic Linda Stasi notes: “Interesting that when the suits at ABC think women they think desperation, and when they think men they think power.” Clearly Cashmere Mafia, counters that criticism. The women of Cashmere Mafia are crashing through the glass ceiling while attempting to manage their personal lives.

Much of the negative criticism surrounding the show is do to its obvious similarities to Darren Star’s other series about fashionable, confident women—Sex and the City. Although, Cashmere Mafia may use the same stylebook developed for that ubber successful HBO series, I do see one significant plot difference. Two of the power divas are married moms, an idea SATC flirted with developing Charlotte’s dream of the fairy tale marriage and complicating it with fertility issues and later with Miranda’s unexpected pregnancy that pushed her into the realm of working moms.

In Cashmere Mafia, both Zoe Burden and Juliet Draper are married with children, and both are struggling to balance work and family with varying levels of success. The transition from the all single cast of SATC to the partially married cast of Cashmere Mafia marks the shift in the working woman’s life style.

In a recent Modern Matriarch interview, writer Laura Zigman discussed a similar phenomenon within the publishing industry—the transition from ‘chic lit’ to ‘mommy lit’:

“When I was writing Animal Husbandry, chick lit didn’t exist. It happened afterwards, when my book and a bunch of other books proved that a collective consciousness exists and at the time that collective consciousness was focused on single women who were trying to figure out their lives. “Mommy Lit’ is sort of an extension of this: the same single women who are now married with children are still trying to figure out their lives.”

ABC obviously recognizes this shift as well. Ok, so Cashmere Mafia is over the top. That’s the ABC dramedy formula. Consider shows like Big Shots, Brothers and Sisters, Dirty Sexy Money, Private Practice and of course Grey’s Anatomy. What is interesting is the way ABC is tracking it’s demographic and how they represent women and our current concerns. I find it particularly telling that both Cashmere Mafia and Big Shots depict conflict between work and family obligations with the invasion of children into the workplace and the stigma of placing a priority on family.

In the pilot of Big Shots, one of the CEOs gripes “Men are the new women.” Well, at least that’s true for the cheeky chic ‘man’ series that’s adopted the mommy lit format. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out—what will strike a cord with women who enjoy the incorporation of both identifiable character types and outrageous escapism. Let’s face it after a long day of balancing work and family, women don’t want more reality, they want a break. They want to laugh or achieve some cathartic release through a good revenge plot, hence the tacky title Cashmere Mafia and ABC’s eagerness to back it.

Although many critics use terms like ‘mommy lit’ and ‘momprenuers’ in the pejorative, I think it’s more detrimental to men than to women. After all, if men buy into that softened female identity, they maybe underestimating a growing social network—the new ‘girls club’.

Creative Circles: Picasso, Matisse, Stein and Hemingway

If you study art history or literature, then I am sure you have noticed an interesting reoccurance: the creative circle. Study any period and you will find like-minded individuals gathering together, later becoming the creative force of their generation. While studying modernism, I recently made the following observation that I thought I would share with you. After reading this little piece and how these individuals influenced each other, ask yourself, “who’s in my creative circle?” If you don’t have one, build one. You have a lot to learn from, and contribute to, the creative lives of others.

Thanks to Gertrude Stein and her brother Leo, 27 Rue de Fleurus was the hub of modernist art and literature from 1903 – 1914. Steins Parisian address became a gathering spot for painters like Picasso and Matisse, as well as expatriate writers like Hemingway. The influence of this creative atmosphere is evident in the cross germination of ideas found in the works of those who passed through 27 Rue de Fleurus.  

When comparing the works of Stein and Hemingway, one can see the influences of Picasso and Matisse respectively. During her residence at 27 Rue de Fleurus, Stein began to experiment with a technique known as “verbal collage,” as evident in her collection Tender Buttons. It was also a period in which Hemingway began to utilize the “iceberg technique.”   Both of these writing techniques mirrored artistic movements of the period. 

Stein’s “Picasso” is an example of this “verbal collage.” Utilizing a few primary words and images, Stein arranges and rearranges them to create linguistic texture. Stein was interested in word association and sound, cutting and pasting syntax together to create works that mirrored Picasso’s Collage Phase.  According to American Poet Judy Grahn, Stein’s work during this period focused on six elements:

1. Commonality
2. Essence
3. Value
4. Grounding the continuous present\
5. Play
6. Transformation

 In “Picasso,” Stein manipulates nouns like “one,” “something,” and “meaning” as well as verbs like “following,” “working,” and phrases like “coming out of” to create juxtaposing images just as Picasso did with his cubist collage. In fact, Stein breaks from her pattern of rearrange these words only long enough to expose the true nature and intent of cubist collage: 

This one was always having something that was coming out of this one that was a solid thing, a charming thing, a simple thing, a clear thing, a complicated thing, an interesting thing, a disturbing thing, a repellant thing, a very pretty thing. 

In this sentence Stein captures the reaction of those viewed collage, on canvas and on paper. Cubist collage was an attempt to capture reality from all angels at once, to represent three dimensions on a two dimensional surface. It was an art form that had the effect of being both charming and simple, and complicated and disturbing.Hemingway, on the other hand, seems to have taken his artistic inspiration from Matisse. Matisse and Picasso were both friends and rivals. One of the distinguishing aspects of their work can be found in the source of their inspiration. Picasso worked mainly from his own imagination while Matisse drew his inspiration from nature. The same distinction can be made between Stein’s “Picasso” and Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants.”  

While “Picasso” utilizes the abstract sound and meaning of language to create an impact on the reader, “Hills Like White Elephants” uses setting and interpersonal dialogue to create an impression.  

During the period of Gertrude Stein’s Paris salon, Matisse favored bright colors, flat shapes, and controlled lines, in a style that was expressive but lacking in detail. This is a description that could also be applied to Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants.”  

Hemingway opens the story with a description of the natural surroundings: “The hills across the valley of the Ebro were long and white. On this side there was no shade and no trees . . .” (Hemingway 613). From this description, the reader visualizes a sweeping block of color. The later comparison to white elephants is very expressive, but still lacks detail.  

Even the conversation is expressive yet controlled as the two main characters discuss the very controversial topic of abortion, while avoiding the word, the details of the operation, the baby, or their relationship. Like his descriptions of the landscape, Hemingway’s dialogue merely focuses on blocks of color:

The girl looked at the bead curtain. “They’ve painted something on it,” she said. “What does it say?”

“Anis del Toro. It’s a drink.”“Could we try it?”

The man called “Listen” through the curtain. The woman came out from the bar.

“Four reales.”

“We want two Anis del Toro.”

“With water?”

“Do you want it with water?”

“I don’t know,” the girl said. “Is it good with water?”

“It’s alright.”

“You want them with water?” asked the woman.

“Yes, with water.”

“It tastes like licorice,” the girl said and put the glass down.

“That’s the way with everything.”

“Yes,” said the girl. “Everything tastes like licorice. Especially all the things you’ve waited so long for, like absinthe.”

(Hemingway 614)

On the surface this dialogue creates a sweeping visual of two individuals ordering drinks. Note that Hemingway leaves out the detail of the waitress going back inside the bar and returning with the drinks. The dialogue moves from her confirmation that they do indeed want water to the girl drinking the Anis. It is also important to note that absinthe was a drink writers and artists associated with romance. This gives the dialogue new meaning that is not evident on the surface. The exchange emphasizes the experience of the man and the inexperience of the girl. It is also significant that the couple waters down the Anis, giving an indication of the nature of their relationship. The girls agreement that all things initially taste like licorice (especially when you wait a long time for it) indicates the awareness that this initial thrill does indeed dull.  Works Cited: Grahn, Judy, ed. Really Reading Gertrude Stein: A Selected Anthology with Essays by Judy Grahn (Crossing Press, 1989). Hemingway, Ernest. “Hills Like White Elephants.” The Norton Anthology of Short Fiction. Ed. R.V. Cassill. New York. W.W. Norton & Company. 1981. 

Stein, Gertrude. “Picasso.” Portraits and Prayers. New York: Random House, 1934.

My First Podcast Interview

Yes I know, Skype was first invited in 2003, and your not so Modern Matriarch is just finding out about it. Let’s just say the evolution of Skype occurred during what I call “my corporate years,” and I can not be held liable for my ignorance of the outside world. Thanks to Hans Dekker at Wordsy.com, I am now slightly more modern than I was a week ago.

Next Sunday, I will be participating in my first podcast interview. When Mr. Dekker first asked me if I would be willing to do an interview via Skype, I said “Sure . . . What’s Skype?” (Yes, he found this response a bit amusing as he noted in wordsy podcast 13.) But, I am happy to announce that I am now plugged into the Skype community (tricia.ares) and looking forward to meeting new folks.

My interview with Mr. Dekker will be prerecorded, so as soon as it airs, I will certainly hotlink to it here at Modern Matriarch. In the meantime, I encourage you to check out the other Wordsy podcasts at wordsy.com.

Discover Your Expertise: Women’s Media Summit Day 3

One thing the Summit has taught me is how often women underestimate their level of “expertise.” For years, I have viewed my own learning as “self-improvement.” I wonder how many women do the same. How many women acquire a substantial wealth of knowledge without realizing how valuable it is to others? How many realize the value of their knowledge but feel they lack the authority to share it with others?

Can you write down ten things you are an expert in?

Here’s my (current) list:

1. Analyzing Literature
2. Writing
3. Motivational Speaking
4. Networking
5. Cooperative vs Competitive Lifestyles
6. The Value of the Matriarchal Perspective
7. Travel and Permanent Relocation
8. Study Abroad
9. Self Actualization
10. Managing as a Work at Home Mom

What makes you an expert?

Some people mistake “expertise” for “credentials.” Expertise is the experience gained through practice and the revision of knowledge. Credentials, on the other hand, are merely the external validation of that expertise.

For instance, I have an expertise in both writing and analyzing literature because I read a lot and I write a lot. I also allow others to critique my work, challenging my perspective. By opening myself up to feedback, and valuing my mistakes as learning tools, I create opportunities to revise my knowledge, increasing my expertise.

My credentials in writing and analyzing literature include the Bachelor’s degree I have obtained, the master’s degree I am pursuing, and the numerous articles, short stories, and critical essays I have published.

When will others recognized your expertise?

First, you must recognize what you’re an expert in, and then you must start building your credentials. Yes, it’s that simple, but the first step starts with you.

So I’ll ask you again, Can you write down ten things you’re an expert in? Of course, you can. Now write them in the comments section, so we can all share in your wealth of knowledge.

For more information on increasing your credentials and exposure as an expert, check out the Women’s Media Summit audio files.

Women’s Media Summit Day 2

Talk about paying forward, Heidi Richards, CEO of WECAI Network, is racking up some serious karma for putting together the Women’s Media Summit. You could buy a BMW for the price of a Scion and still not get a better deal then the $57 I paid for this conference. The knowledge and inspiration gleaned from the presenters is absolutely invaluable.

For me, the Women’s Media Summit does more than just educate women on the ins and outs of building a positive media relationship; it illustrates the power of positive relationships in general.

A shady friend is a parent’s worst nightmare. If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about. If you had friends that worried your parents, you know what I’m talking about. Parents worry about our friends because experience has taught them an important lesson. We are influenced by others. If you surround yourself with people who practice deceit and manipulation, you’re values and quality of life will be compromised.

The presenters at the Women’s Media Summit uphold the law of abundance. There’s enough out there for everyone. The women at this conference truly want to help other women harvest that abundance.

If you truly want to live abundantly, to live cooperatively instead of competitively, be diligent. Surround yourself with peers who live that way to; people who focus on paying it forward instead of paying it back. Women’s Media Summit is a great place to start.

If you would like to participate in the summit or purchase the audio files visit: www.thewomensmediasummit.com.

Special thanks to yesterdays presenters:

Shannon Cherry, founder and president of Cherry Communications and its subsidiaries, Be Heard Solutions and Penny Pinching Publicity. www.cherrycomcast.com

Beverly Mahone, author of Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age www.talk2bev.com

Lori Prokop, co-founder of Keyboard Culture Blog Community www.keyboard-culture.com

Raleigh Pinskey, of The Raleigh Group and author of the international best selling 101 Ways to Promote Yourself (Harper Collins)www.RalieghPinskey.com

Women’s Media Summit Day 1

Good Morning Everyone (* said in a hushed whisper). Well, at least it’s morning as I write this—6 am to be exact. It’s still dark outside and even in this Miami suburb, the world is shrouded in a blanket of semi-silence. The steady chirp of crickets is broken only occasionally by the sound of a drowsy automobile rolling off to an early start.

As a freelance writer who works from home, this is my moment of Zen. I try to get the bulk of my writing done during these lulls, even if it means waking up at 5 am everyday.

Soon my day will be filled with the constant influx of communication: email, cell-phone, fax, even the UPS man delivering gallies or review copies. While I am attempting to juggle the calls and correspondence with the utmost professionalism, my three-year-old daughter shares her latest picture of daddy and chases the cat under the table.

This is the face of the changing workforce. Women, often frustrated and underrepresented in the corporate world, are choosing to go it alone. Taking their hard earned knowledge and experience, they are starting their own businesses, setting up shop on their own terms. This new work force even has a name—Mompreneurs.

Just because you’ve decided to head out on your own doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. In fact, you can’t do it a lone. You have to get your name out there, exposure yourself to the community. It’s not just enough to network (although that is vital), you have to generate a media presence in order to establish your credibility and really drive your business.

As a freelance writer, writing alone is not enough. My writing has to actually reach people. Writing skill and fabulous content mean nothing without an audience. As a writer, building a relationship with the media is crucial. But were do we start?

The Women’s Media Summit, has the answers. The Women’s Media Summit gathers exceptional media, PR, and marketing professionals together in one spot: you’re home office! That’s right, no airfare, no expensive accommodations, no child care issues. For only $57 (no that’s not a typo), Mompreneurs from across the country will attend four days of virtual presentations.

The Women’s Media Summit is multimedia and interactive. What I learned from the first speaker alone was well worth the investment.

Yesterday, Kirsten Osolind, CEO of Re:invention Marketing, opened the summit with a presentation on “Being Notable and Quotable.” Her statistics on the under-representation of women in the media are astounding:

• Women make up only 21% of all people featured in the news
• Women represent only 14 % of all company spokespersons and 17% of all experts quoted in the news.
• Women are most often presented in the media as voices expressing personal experience
• Women are twice as likely as men to be portrayed as victims in the news.
• Women represent a mere 14 percent of all Sunday morning political talk show guest appearances.

So with the odds stacked against Momprenuers, how do we get in the media? In her presentation Osolind, provides tips on how to become more notable and quotable using the Re:Invention BNQ model and how to build credibility through the Terrific Trifecta and online resources.

If the Women’s Media Summit sounds like something you want to participate in, there is still time to register, but hurry! Presentations begin today at 3pm (Eastern time). You can also order audio files or CDs of the Seminar, as well. Just visit www.womensmediasummit.com.

To learn more about Re:Invention Marketing go to: www.reinventioninc.com or visit their award winning blog at www.reinventioninc.blogspot.com

Oh! One final statistic: Although women make up 50% of the blogging community only 13% make the top 100 list among national advertising agencies . . . hmmmm. Looks like I have some more work to do.

Gearing up for the Holidays!

Oh I know, it’s not even Halloween yet, but the Collective Christmas Meme has inspired me. If you’re anything like me, most of your correspondence arrives via email, leaving your traditional mail box devoid of any meaningful life (with the exception of the obligatory bills and junk mail). I’d like to change that. So in the spirit of giving, Modern Matriarch will be sending out Holiday Cards this year. If you would like to be on our mailing list, just send your name and address to modernmatriarch@yahoo.com. Your information will be kept strictly confidential, and I solemnly swear not to ship you any fruit cake.

Collectively Written Christmas Meme

Remember those childhood games where one person starts a story and everyone adds another line, until every member of the circle has joined in the collective story telling? Just as technology has broadened our community, so has it broadened our circle of friends and our ablity to play collective story telling games. And what better time to play our favorite childhood games than during the holidays.

Although, Santa still has a few months before he begins his midnight toy run,  he’s already hard at work bringing smiles to the blogoshpere. Instigating the Collectively Written Christmas Meme, Santa gives us the chance to set aside your grown up worries and play.

Here are the rules, as explained by Nina Munteanu from the blog The Alien Next Door:

Each person who gets tagged adds two lines to the already existing story (remember to number them). In those added lines, one word needs to be hyperlinked to your own blog and your post should include a link to Santa’s Community Blog, the originator of the meme. Whoever reaches 21 lines, submits the story to Santa here, by commenting to that post with a link to your post. Santa will select the best, nicest, warmest, funniest collectively written Christmas stories and publish them on Santa’s Community Blog. So here is the beginning of the story:

1- The day before Christmas a young little girl
2-Was worried about Christmas in the Future.
3-So, she planted an acre of “living Christmas trees”
4. without realizing that the grumpy Alien Next Door
5. was allergic to trees and hated Christmas.
6. Eager to help, the Matriarch of the wood nymphs
7. called on the spirits of the newly planted trees

I happily extend this story telling circle to these fabulous wordsmiths:

Judy Mi Cha

Vintagefan

Persephone

Ju-well

RJWilliams

Good luck to all and to all a good story.

Effective Peer Reviews

“So what do you think?”

What a loaded question. It can be the most effective tool in the pursuit of publication, or it can be the beginning of bitter contention. It all depends on the readiness of the writer asking the question, and the ability of the critic to assess that level of readiness. I’ve learned this from personal experience.

I’ve enjoyed work shopping material with fellow writers on a couple of online communities. I believe the critical feedback I receive is absolutely essential to my future as a published author. I even credit it with the honorable mention I received in a recent writing competition. But, challenging an artist without offending can be tricky.

I have been criticized for being both too extensive and too vague. This has taught me to spend as much time assessing the readiness of the writer, as I do analyzing their work. Only a few months ago, I inadvertently offended another writer with a critique that was intended to challenge the author’s literary technique. However, when the author retaliated on a personal level, it became obvious that I had underestimated his readiness to receive such extensive feedback.

Overcompensating, my critiques became brief and somewhat vague. I became more concerned with the ego behind the writing than the writing itself. That is, until just a couple of days ago when a fellow writer reminded me that this minimalist approach was of no use. He advised me to address issues in greater detail and sight specific examples. After clarifying his expectations, I was able to reassess his ability to receive a thorough review.

So, how can you determine an author’s readiness level? First, see if you can locate any of her critical feedback. How they review others is a good indication of her ability to analyze literature and her ability give and receive constructive criticism. What is the general atmosphere of the writing community she most participates in? This is where she feels comfortable and successful. This will give you an indication of the kind of feedback she is accustomed to. Finally, assess her motivation. You can do this directly, before supplying your critique. Ask her what they hope to achieve from the critique? What is her ultimate goal as a writer? Does she have any particular concerns about the piece you will be reviewing? If you receive vague answers, it’s probably an indication of a low readiness level.

It’s also a good idea to come up with a feedback form that will allow you to give specific, consistent feedback. I found this one for creative writing on the University of Hawaii website:

Paraphrase the plot of the story in one or two sentences.

Paraphrase the theme of the piece in one or two sentences.

Describe the narrator’s point of view. Is the point of view consistent? If not, where and how does it shift?

Describe the tone of the piece. Is the tone consistent? If not, point out where it wavers.

Are the characters believable? Why or why not?

What more would you like to know about the characters?

Were there any parts of the story that were confusing or unclear?

If the writer uses dialogue, is it clear who is speaking? Does the writer describe how the speaker says the dialogue?

Has the writer dramatized rather than summarized the experiences in the story?

What parts of the piece are most vivid for you?

What questions did you have when you finished reading the piece?

Anything else?

At Zoetrope.com a sample review for poetry utilized this format:

Overall Quality:

Originality:

Communication of Theme:

Structure:

Diction (well-chosen words):

Imagery (type/structure):

Use and function of Sound repetition:

These are merely examples, of course. You can develop your own based on the goal of your peer reviews. I recommend sharing your evaluation form with your peers when you first begin working togather. This will give the author a clear idea of what you will be assessing and prepare him for the extent of your feedback. (The author’s reaction to your form may also cause you to re-evaluate his readiness level.)

By evaluating both the writer and their work objectively, you will have a better chance of developing productive peer review relationships, while avoiding the backlash of accidentally bruising someone’s ego.