I’ve been reading and reviewing a lot of chic lit lately, and I’ve made an interesting discovery. There’s a lot of sarcasm out there. Main characters often think sarcastically when faced with an adversary or passing judgment on themselves. Sarcasm is also quite common in the affectionate bantering between two female characters.
Personally, I find this an enjoyable aspect of chic lit. But then again, my tongue has signed a lease agreement with my cheek so that shouldn’t be surprising. However, I began to wonder if women are drawn to sarcasm more than men.
My husband, like many men I know, gets a good chuckle out of physical comedy and sexual innuendo. I can’t really judge his appreciation for sarcasm because English is his second language and sarcasm is usually pretty subtle.
But then there’s my college friend Chad. Now there’s a guy who can sling some sarcasm. We were both english majors, and as we publically lashed at each other with barbed tongues, many of our classmates actually came to the conclusion that we truly disliked one another.
Recognizing that sarcasm has become so prevolant in women’s literature raises a lot of questions? What are the psychological and sociological implications of sarcasm? Is there a gender bias? Who is more likely to engage in sarcasm and why? Is it intellectual sparring, an attempt to establish territory, or merely a way to release tension?
In the chic lit that I’ve read, sarcasm directed towards an adversary seems to indicate a sense of insecurity masked in a false display of superiority: the knee jerk reaction of “yeah well, I’m soooo much smarter than you.” While sarcasm between friends seems to indicate a deep level of trust: the “I love you so much I can tell you the truth in jest” kind of behavior. Is sarcasm, perhaps, the verbal equivalent to sticking out your tongue?
Clearly this is a topic that deserves extensive research, however, I really have much more pressing obligations–like blending up my morning protein shake and scheduling a pedicure.
August 29, 2007 at 8:59 am
I love sarcasm. somehow it gives you the freedoms to say what you would never have said. And i love sarcasm between friends-the truths has a way of coming out
I love the post though
August 29, 2007 at 9:05 pm
A year ago when I was trying to do the online dating thing on Match.com I was amazed by how many men said that they had a sarcastic sense of humor. Those same men vehemently did NOT want a woman who also had a sarcastic sense of humor. I thought that was really….interesting.
Enjoyable post!
August 30, 2007 at 1:16 am
My husband hates sarcasm and I love it. It’s funny even if it carries a few thorns, some of which may hurt even as we lol. Aside from the question of sarcasm’s role within women’s conversations and friendships, a more primal field, at least in my experience, surrounds one’s family. All my relatives enjoy sarcasm. It can take a friendly, trusting form, even as it can all too easily slip out of hand, turning into an unexpected and deeply personal attack.
When aimed at children so as to prod them into preferable behavior, the barbs can inflict a long lasting and pervasive sense of insecurity, and worse, much worse, a deep fount of unspecific humiliation.
Sarcasm is funny precisely because it traces dangerous borders. Secure and self-aware adults, especially those familiar with its kinder forms, like teasing, can enjoy it as an intimate, often private joke. Those who’ve grown up wounded by persistent, bullying thrusts need to beware not to inflict those same old wounds upon their own grown psyche–and to take extraordinary care not to rely upon this tricky, often familial, often seriously sharp humor as a pet form of communicating with children. Adolescents sometimes appreciate it, especially if they can do their parents one better. Younger than that, though, let them tease you first; for if sarcasm regularly propels fun among the grownups, children learn to use it quickly, and invariably in a similar style.
August 30, 2007 at 3:34 am
I loved this post, Tricia! I actually share lots of great saracasm with my son. He slings it out even better than my husband, who at times isn’t sure what’s going on between us. I’d think about this some more except I need to go get my beauty rest…lalala…
August 30, 2007 at 11:00 am
Great topic! I see the prevalent use of sarcasm among women as a defense techique. Historically, women have not utilized the outlets for expression of brute force that man routinely use.
As a matter of survival we as women have honed our wit and intellectual arsenals. Hence, sarcasm used defensively (and not) is a potent weapon against perhaps physical brutality, assault, or whatever. Sarcasm makes a perpetrator think twice about what he or she is getting into.
As well, sarcasm between friends is a sport of sorts. It can be funny, extremely witty, intellectual, and deliver a much needed message of truth.
I do recognize the insecurity aspect of some forms of sarcasm; as well as the receiver may recognize it and respond effectively!
Adrienne Zurub
author of,
‘Notes From the Mothership ~ The Naked Invisibles’
due out November 2007
November 27, 2007 at 3:49 am
Adrienne I think you might be on to something when you say women use sarcasm-ESPECIALLY constant continuous sarcasm as a defensive technique. People who use it that way are insecure and responding sarcastically makes them feel assertive-even though they’re not being direct.
But I also think its because women, especially young women(teens, 20s) tend not to take themselves very seriously. I find occasional sarcasm to be amusing but constant sarcasm directed against me and what I say comes across as a supreme insult. I DO take myself seriously and not being taken seriously by others rouses my hostility.