The Tiny Messengers

I’m not a particularly superstitious person. I’ve owned more than one black cat; I have no inhibitions about walking under ladders; and a broken mirror is nothing more than an inconvenience. But I do have a deep respect for spirituality, and that is often where the line blurs for people.

 

I have a special affinity for Celtic and Native American spirituality.  I remember spending countless hours in the school library during my pre-teen years, perusing scores of film strips on Native American mythology.  When those were consumed, I moved on to books.

 

According to my family’s oral history (it is said this history has been researched and written somewhere, but I have yet to find a copy), my family came to the America on the Mayflower. Somewhere along the line (I’m not even sure if it’s the same family line), a great grandmother was adopted by the Iroquois Nation, fractionally making me 1/16^th Native American, I guess. Perhaps this explains the fascination.

 

I can only guess at the accuracy and legitimacy of these stories, but in the realm of self-myth making, well oral history is generally enough. So here in lies my acceptance of Native American lore. There is a universal respect in Native American traditions that I find comforting. So when the ladybugs came, I decided to listen.

 

Many years ago, I was told my totem animal was the fox—a small creature that relied on its speed and cunning for survival—an animal with an astonishing ability to adapt to its environment. If there is anything I am good at in life, it is adapting . . . sometimes too well. Sometimes, I loose myself in the role that I’m playing and I have to struggle to get back out. That was the source of my own internal conflict last week.

 

I have served as the Director of Student Services at a local college for the past year. I enjoy the work. I find great satisfaction in helping students reach their full potential. But then it began to dawn on me that I had drifted away from my full potential. I am, at my core, an artist. Music, painting, writing, that’s what truly feeds my soul. That’s what makes me feel whole and complete . . . yet, I had drifted away. Though I had dedicated myself to a noble cause, I knew that it was quickly becoming a hollow accomplishment.

 

It was during that week that my daughter first noticed the lady bugs, in a small evergreen next to the front door. She would stop and stare at them, “four,” she counted out loud.

 

“That’s great dear, ladybugs are good luck,” I told her absent mindedly as I moved her over the threshold.

 

Each day she stopped to stare. Each day becoming more and more emphatic that I stop and look. “Mira mama. More ladybugs!”

 

During this same week, I was becoming more and more agitated. Something was pressing at me, eating at me. Finally at the end of the week, when I was no longer forced to play my role, I snapped. The frustration poured out in tears and harsh words. I had done it again. I had drifted from what I loved most, to what I could do easily, and I was miserable.

 

The next day we went past the evergreen again. I stopped to look.  There were more than just a few, the little beetles where everywhere! Like the ornaments on an overcrowded Christmas tree. I recognized some as ladybugs, but the others I had never seen before. I pondered the possibility of what they could be, before it began to dawn on me. I quickly went inside to confirm my suspicion—a massive metamorphosis. The evergreen was adorned with every stage of the ladybug lifecycle.

 

 I don’t believe in coincidences. So I searched again. “Totem Animal . . . ladybug”

 

What I discovered in my search is that the ladybug is a messenger of promise who reconnects us with the joy of living. The ladybug reminds us to release our fears and return to that inner passion—to let go—to get out of our own way.

 

So here I am, writing. Not the analytical theories and convoluted structures of a Master’s thesis, but the intimate truth of my own mysterious existence: re-examing, revitalizing, rewriting—a metamorphosis. 

 

[As an interesting side note: Before I published this post, and before I told this story to anyone else, a friend of mine gave me a “thinking of you” card . . . with a glittering ladybug on the cover. Hmmmm]

Book Review: Mrs. Perfect

Jane Porter does it again! Her new novel, Mrs. Perfect, is a sequel—of sorts. In her latest book, Porter returns to Bellevue, the home to Seattle’s software elite. This time, the story shifts to Taylor Young, a woman who has it all—handsome husband, three beautiful daughters, a dream home, and a bottomless bank account.

Yes, this is the same Taylor Young we met in Odd Mom Out, but this time Porter takes us behind the polished image of this Alpha female to reveal the complex motives behind that saccharin smile.

That’s what I love about Porter, her ability to step into someone else’s shoes and take us along with her. This rendition of Taylor Young is not the two dimensional sketch of a stereo-type, but the portrait of a vulnerable woman desperate to keep it all together:

Standing at the bus stop with the other moms, I chat about everything and nothing and it’s comforting. They’re all as frazzled and frustrated as I am. At least, I think, I’m not alone in my mountain of worries. All women seem to worry about being good enough, doing enough, trying enough.

Taylor Young is driven by perfection, yet oblivious to the dangers that could unhinge her Bellevue lifestyle . . . and reputation. As her fairy tale begins to unravel, Taylor must learn to let go of her own preconceived notions and accept the help of her old nemesis, Marta Zinsser.

In Mrs. Perfect, Porter plucks at the taunt string of anxiety deep within the modern female psyche. This is not the first book I’ve read, in which the female lead struggles to maintain a pristine façade over her dark secrets. However, unlike other characters who snap beneath the weight of their own fictions, Taylor Young finds the strength to face her greatest fears. Of course, that’s not to say Taylor doesn’t pay a hefty price for the lessons she has to learn.

In this trip back to Bellevue, Porter reminds women that all actions have consequences, and ignorance is never a solid defense. She also cautions women to be aware and to be ready, because everything changes. Life is not a fairytale and things won’t magically work themselves out. It takes hard work and sacrifice to correct the mistakes we make, and we all make them.

Porter’s characters are real women struggling to discover who they “could” be within the social clamor of who they “should” be. These are women you know, women you despise, women you admire. We are all taking the same journey together, yet managing to isolate ourselves and each other from the shared experience. The true beauty of Mrs. Perfect is the way Porter takes a character you think you know, and alters your perception. Perhaps, there’s someone in your life you should get to know better.

It’s a Beautiful Day.

Every morning when my three-year-old wakes up, she announces the fact with the same phrase, “It’s a beautiful day!” I’m not really sure where or when she picked up this habit, but I’m glad she did. It doesn’t really matter if the bright southern sun is streaming through the cracks in her bedroom blinds, or if the fierce Florida rain is pelting at her window. For my daughter, the phrase, “It’s a beautiful day” is a celebration of life. The world has once again pulled away its quilt of darkness, and revealed a new opportunity for learning and adventure.

I can’t help but wonder what the world would be like if more people greeted each day with the same conscious attitude. In our overworked, minimally rested society, it’s easy to see why morning commuters often greet us with scowls instead of smiles. Even I have mornings when I hit my snooze button, wallowing in the dregs of insufficient sleep, but when my daughter’s morning phrase drifts through my murky consciousness, I have to admit, I hear the chorus of that famous U2 song and I laugh at myself. It is a beautiful day.

Mother’s Day From a Child’s Perspective

There’s a lot to be said about the value of Mothers. I heard an NPR report the other day that estimated that mothers work 100 hours a week, and if they were paid the current salary for all the jobs they performed they would earn $270,000 a year. But of course, mothers don’t get paid for being mothers, well except for a few fringe benefits—like the well timed kiss or hug from an adoring child.

Gratitude—it’s a gift that small children still value, yet somewhere along the way consumerism seems to seep in corrupt this still pool of satisfaction. I noticed this while reading a selection of new Mother’s Day books from HarperCollins. They desperately addressed the same issue: Mom doesn’t really want something for Mother’s day. What she longed for the most was love and appreciation.

In Daine de Groat’s book, Mother, You’re the Best! (But Sister, You’re a Pest!), Gilbert the opossum searches for just the right Mother’s Day gift. In this hardback picture book designed for ages 3-8, Gilbert’s little sister Lola keeps upstaging him. In the end, his quest to keep his sister preoccupied turns out to be the perfect gift. This adorable book not only suggests that the best Mother’s Day gifts are free, but address sibling rivalry as well.

Another humorous Mother’s Day picture book, T. Rex and the Mother’s Day Hug by Lois G. Grambling, pokes fun at the bigger is better mentality that tends to get so many of us in trouble. As T. Rex considers his gift giving options, his mother assures him that a big hug is more than enough. But T. Rex wants to do MORE: a strategy that hasn’t really worked out for him in the past. Although T. Rex goes overboard yet again, in the end he manages to get it just right.

However, the mother themed picture book favored by my three-year-old daughter was a cherished classic: Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother Too? (Spanish Edition). This fabulous book features Eric Carle’s timeless illustrations and embraces the simple premise that everyone has a mother giving young readers a moment to reflect on what it means to have a mother.

And that’s all we really want—to be appreciated. As I was writing this post today, my daughter woke up and brought me a simple card and gave me a big hug and kiss. Jewelers will tell you we deserve diamonds, florists will recommend flowers, and connectionists will tell you we crave chocolates, but gratitude is the greatest gift of all—both for the giver and recipient. Although we do deserve diamonds (about 270,000 dollars worth each year), love is priceless.

Finding Your Calling in Unexpected Places

In my March 3rd posting, I addressed this blogs “conspicuous silence.” After my husband’s recent stay in the ICU, our sense of financial security was a little shaky. In order to relieve the stress, I decided to find a steady job.

Of course, after reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I felt it was important to find more than a job. True, I needed a steady income, but I also wanted to be of service. I began applying for part-time faculty positions at local colleges. I’ve always enjoyed helping individuals achieve their life goals and, as an English instructor, I felt like I could contribute in my own small way.

I was hired by a small college that shares the same optimistic vision I have – anyone can become anything, if they only believe in themselves. Although teaching freshman composition within a community that primarily speaks English as a second language was very challenging, it was also very rewarding.

Much of my free time was consumed with creating exams, grading papers, and trying to find ways to make English grammar fun and entertaining. The hard work paid off though, as I watched student confidence grow with each achievement. In turn, they encouraged me with heartfelt letters of appreciation. It was a very fulfilling experience.

Then, I was offered a position I had not applied for. While teaching, I had assisted Student Services with their Spring Graduation. I spent at least 16 hours a week in the Student Services office, and really enjoyed working with the staff. I was impressed by their dedication and their attempt to deliver an astounding graduation despite the fact that they had been without a Director for months.

“Do you think you would like working there full-time?” asked the VP of finance. She was offering me the Director’s position. I knew the combination of my corporate background, my teaching experience, and my self-directed freelance work provided a unique set of skills that could benefit the office, but I was still reluctant.

“I don’t know. I would really hate to give up teaching.” It was my calling, after all—Wasn’t it?

Over the next few weeks, I questioned my motives. I remembered something Eckhart Tolle had said, “Many people ask themselves what they want in life. What they should ask is what does life want from me.” So, I asked the question what does life want from me. I began to realize that my insistence on teaching was based on my own ego. It was not how I could be of greatest service, but was based on my belief that teaching was one of the noblest of professions. It was also based on the positive feedback I received from my students, feedback that nurtured my own pride and sense of self-worth.

As I began to examine my own motives and had the courage to let those misconceptions go, the door opened once again. “The position of Director is still available,” the VP of finance reminded me. This time, I took the job—but it’s more than a job. Now I serve the entire student body not just the handful of students that come through my classroom.

Sometimes you have to let go of what you think you should do, in order to see the thing you could do, to find your calling in unexpected places.

Does the Easter Bunny Need GPS?

Someone at HarperCollins must have read my post Put Books in Their Basket because a package of Easter themed books magically appeared at my front door—the Monday after Easter. Opps. Perhaps the Easter Bunny took a wrong turn somewhere between New York and Miami.

Even though the holiday is over, I think some of these books are still deserving of mention. Some of the titles transcend Easter (like the fabulous book How Big is God? by Lisa Tawn Bergren) and are worthy of full fledged reviews. Therefore, I will post individual reviews of those books in the near future.

Some of the other titles are representative of the creative methods used to engage young readers, and I will discuss them briefly here. Although, I will reference some specific titles, this posting is meant to bring awareness to learning styles rather than individual books. I’m sure you will be able to find a seasonal substitute for any of the examples mentioned below.

As learners, we all process information using a combination of three methods: visual, auditory, and tactile. Individual learners often favor one method over another; however, they are rarely aware of it. As an educator (and a mother) I am always looking for ways to try to engage all three of these methods simultaneously. Here as some books that help young children do that.

Biscuit’s Pet & Play Easter: This is one of those ‘touch and feel’ board books. Although my daughter is three, she still loves these books. The texture fully engages a child’s tactile response while the pictures stimulate the visual. By reading these ‘touch and feel’ books to your child, you can also engage audio learning as well, creating a three-fold learning experience. The textures are also great for stimulating conversation and, therefore, critical thinking skills.

Berenstain Bears’ Baby Easter Bunny: This is a ‘lift-the-flap’ or ‘peek-a-boo’ book. Again the movable flaps engage the tactile learner. It also encourages critical thinking as the flaps provoke a child’s curiosity and he considers what may lie underneath.

Bedtime Prayers/Everday Prayers: These two books are published by Harper Blessings. These two books use an image substitution method for young readers. Certain words repeated throughout the book are represented by illustrations–a key in the front of the book clarifies their meaning.

Here’s an example. The first prayer in Bedtime Prayers reads:

I see the moon,
And the moon sees me,
God bless the moon,
And God bless me.

In this prayer the word ‘moon’ has been replaced by the illustration of a little crescent moon, allowing young children to ‘read’ long before they have acquired letter recognition. Most parents can tell you that small children have a desire to read long before they have the skills. They will often memorize their favorite stories and ‘read them’ out loud to others. By utilizing image recognition, young children can ‘read’ much earlier, gaining a sense of accomplishment and encouraging a stronger relationship with books and reading.

As the example above illustrates, these prayers also utilize rhyme, which will help to fully engage audio learning. The rhyming makes the prayers easier to memorize and paves the way for future phonics skills.

Now that Easter is over, you may not be able to find all of these titles at your local bookstore, but as I mentioned, you should be able to find a seasonal substitute. You can also find holiday titles year round from online book retailers. I like to have a selection of holiday themed books that we rotate, since anticipation often creates greater interest.

If you have a favorite books that utilizes any of these learning methods feel free to share them in the comment section below.

Children’s Book Review: Fancy Nancy: Bonjour, Butterfly

Jane O’Connor. Illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser. Fancy Nancy: Bonjour Butterfly. HarperCollins. 32 p. Ages 4-7. ISBN: 9780061235887 (ISBN10: 0061235881) $16.99

Do butterflies speak French? “Maybe” says Fancy Nancy, the endearing character created by Jane O’Connor and Robin Preiss Glasser, the bestselling team behind the 2007 Quill Award nominated Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy. Bonjour, Butterfly is the latest in the Fancy Nancy franchise, and a picture book triumph!

Fancy Nancy and her friend Bree LOVE butterflies. One might even call them exquisite (a fancy word for beautiful), especially if you’re a young girl with a penchant for glamour. With Bree’s birthday right around the corner, what better way to celebrate their love of butterflies than with a Butterfly Birthday Bash, complete with a butterfly birthday cake! But when her mom tells her she can’t go because of her grandparent’s very dull wedding anniversary, Fancy Nancy isn’t mad—she’s furious! Fear not, life sparkles with more surprises than an iridescent butterfly wing, and soon Fancy Nancy is having a fabulous time.

I absolutely adore this picture book. The artwork is lavish and the use of language is divine, making it a feast for the eyes and the ears.

Glasser’s technical ability is stunning as her detailed illustrations enrich the stories theme and adds depth to an already charming story. In one scene Fancy Nancy models her fancy butterfly costume for her younger sister. In the background three pictures (evidently drawn by Fancy Nancy herself) hang on the wall. The descriptive caption in the first picture reads “PLAIN Caterpillar,” the second reads “EVEN PLAINER cocoon,” and finally, the third reads “FANCY Butterfly.” In the foreground, Fancy Nancy stretches up on her tippy toes, a blanket puddled around her feet. Her little sister sits on the floor completely wrapped in another blanket, watching Fancy Nancy with an expression of obvious admiration. This adorable image suggests that Fancy Nancy is just starting to emerge from the cocoon that still swaddles her younger sister, adding a subtext to O’Connor’s narration.

O’Connor clearly understands the relationship children have with language. The author makes no attempt to talk down to her young readers. The story is liberally sprinkled with a plethora of fancy words, often defined by Fancy Nancy herself. Children love elaborate words and enjoy using them correctly. (I recall my kindergarten fascination with the word ‘obstinate’; a word that expressed so much more than just being ‘stubborn.’)

Along with the challenging vocabulary, O’Connor’s writing captures the ups and downs of pre-school emotion in all of its delightful detail and drama. Fancy Nancy is a character parents will recognize and small children can relate to. The theme of finding joy despite disappointment is one that will resonate with both reader and listener, and provides a platform for further discussion.

I highly recommend Fancy Nancy: Bonjour, Butterfly. It’s a delightful combination of rich art and literary expression.

Children’s Book Review: The Dog Princess Fairy Tails

The Dog Artist Collection. The Dog Princess Fairy Tales. HarperCollins. Ages 3-6. ISBN-0060783105 (ISBN 13-9780060783105) $16.99

Move over Paris Hilton, there’s a new pampered princess in town—a pampered puppy princess that is. This pampered puppy princess is far from petty though, she has her . . .  um . . . priorities straight (sorry—the alliteration is positively contagious).

The Dog Princess Fairy Tails is the latest book by The Dog Artist Collection. This modern fairytale is both empowering and endearing. The story of the pampered princess (with a pink limousine) is told through precious puppy photos. When the pampered princess begs her Fairy Dogmother to send a handsome prince to the grand ball, she gets “EXACTLY” what she wished for. Oops. What will a ballroom full of pampered princesses do with just one Prince? Well tell him to “go fetch,” of course. The pampered princess pals decide to play nice and have a slumber party instead.

Using unique angles and special lenses, The Dog Artist Collection captures the quirky humor of our favorite four legged friends. These dogs are featured on postcards, in calendars, and as plush animals world wide. They also appear in the picture book, board book, and paperback versions of The Dog From Arf! Arf! To Zzzzzz.

My three-year-old daughter loves this book. The photos keep her giggling from cover to cover, while the positive story reinforces the value of friendship, independence, and appreciating what you already have. The puppy photos are enhanced with illustrative effects that transform these adorable doggies into fair tale princesses. Although these puppies are bejeweled, they’re not afraid to break a nail. When they lay down for their beauty rest, they dream of things like soccer.

This simple story will really resonate with parents who want to foster female femininity and strength. The princess puppies are bedecked with boas and jewels, while demonstrating that style can have substance.

The world play and alliteration throughout the book makes the story fun to read out loud and enjoyable for young ears. The large print makes it easy to read while holding the book at arms length and the pink photo captions that accompany each photo are short enough for pre-school children to memorize, allowing them to read along before they actually master reading skills.

This picture book will be a fabulous addition to any child’s library, especially puppy loving princesses.

For more information on The Dog Artist Collection, visit their website at www.thedog-club.com.

Put Books in Their Basket

I have a three-year-old daughter, and like any three-year-old, she loves the holidays. We decorate, watch holiday themed videos, and participate in holiday themed parties at her daycare and her favorite local attractions. However, as a mother who is concerned about creating healthy eating habits, the holidays can pose a problem. Many of them encourage the consumption of dubious amounts of candy.

Oh, I’m not one of those moms that completely bans sugar from the house, but I do restrict it quite a bit. I also look for ways to limit the amount of candy received during these highly commercialized holidays. We all remember that bag of Halloween candy that lasted until Christmas. By over indulging during the holidays, that stocking full of Christmas candy might last until Valentine’s Day, and that Valentine’s Day candy could last until Easter. It’s no wonder our country struggles with obesity, diabetes, and hyperactive children. We might as well give them a sugar IV and send them out into the world.

The public schools are finally catching on to the detrimental effects of sugar and systematically eradicating it from the lunchroom and vending machines. As an educator myself, I can tell you we have enough challenges without the sugar induced buzz distracting our students (not to mention the post sugar comatose).

As another holiday draws upon us, look for some alternatives for that Easter basket. Perhaps forgoing the candy all together is a bit drastic. Who wants to receive a fruit basket when everyone else is getting Cadbury eggs? We can cut back the amount of candy they receive, however, by adding small, inexpensive gifts that encourage learning and physical activity.

Here’s a suggestion I’m partial to . . . BOOKS! If you encourage your child to read while they’ re young, you will help them develop a life-long habit. In an effort to encourage children’s literacy, I will feature a number of children’s book reviews this week. With the plethora of options out there this spring, I will be posting more than once a day, so check back often, or subscribe to the Modern Matriarch feed to catch them all.

Happy Holidays and good reading!

Oh Shut Up Already!

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone but found it impossible because they just wouldn’t listen? Every time you opened your mouth to say something, they just had to interrupt. It’s impossible to talk and listen at the same time.

You may have noticed that this blog has been conspicuously silent lately. That’s because I am listening. I believe in the vastness of universal potential and the depth of life’s lessons and sometimes you just need to shut up to hear them.

I am adding links to three programs I am currently participating in—all courtesy of Oprah.com. I will refrain from commenting on them for now because I feel as though I would be interrupting the lesson I need to learn. I simply want to share the blessing of inspiration and fellowship they have provided.

A New Earth Oprah’s current Book Club selection addresses humanity’s ego-based thinking. Oprah and author Eckhart Tolle are committed to discussing the book chapter by chapter in a 90 minute live web event every Monday night starting March 3rd. (Discussions archived)

A Course in Miracles Marianne Williamson takes you through the complete Course in Miracles. Everyday in 2008, Williamson covers one of the 365 lessons. Although this program began in January, the complete program is archived and you can go at your own pace.

Oprah and Bob’s Million Viewer Challenge The body is the temple of the spirit. Learn how to make better health and fitness choices, because you deserve to live your best life.